At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
