I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
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