She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
