3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
