I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
