My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
