PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
