Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
