Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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