Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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