you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
