sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Randomize
