the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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