I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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