Dual....:-)
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
