im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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