my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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