Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
