It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
