We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
