At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
