the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
