I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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