Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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