how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
