awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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