some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I wanna passion pit in your ass
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
We need a shit load of segways right now
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
