hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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