If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
