I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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