The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
