We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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