You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
you didnt know i had herpes?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
