How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
