...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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