I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
