The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
