I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
