i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
