True but thats because hes a fetus.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
