News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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