hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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