Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize