I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
