I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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