i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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