did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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