Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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