If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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