her vagine was all disorganized.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
