I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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