listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Randomize
