after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
