why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize