he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
