Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
