I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
