Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
