I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
