My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
