Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
