I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize