the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
