This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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