Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
